


The Stupid (Perfect) Applications of Pasta Sauce In War

by thetrueliesofafangirl



Series: All Is Fair In Love and War [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Hetalia is my new obsession, Italy is a little shit, M/M, and Germany is my special angry little snowflake, some random German thrown in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 02:39:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1588565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetrueliesofafangirl/pseuds/thetrueliesofafangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ludwig finally dies of sexual frustration, he's going to blame it on Feliciano's pasta obsession</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stupid (Perfect) Applications of Pasta Sauce In War

**Author's Note:**

> Hetalia is my new obsession and no one can stop me from writing myself gratuitous porn

Feliciano was trying to kill him

There was no other explanation for it. 

Why else would he waltz around shirtless when he knew the sight of his smooth tanned skin made Ludwig salivate, and the dark trail of hair leading to his pants made him ache to taste and his absolute lack of respect for personal space made it so very tempting to just lean in and kiss the smirk off those pink plump lips , those lips that could be wrapped around his cock instead of talking about pasta…..

This was why he couldn’t be around Feliciano any more

He was trying to win a war here. How could he do that if every single thought he had eventually ended up with him picturing bending Italy over the table in the conference room and taking him apart with his tongue and his teeth and finally tasting that honeyed skin and mapping the constellation of his moles until Feliciano was a whimpering moaning mess and then finally he’d thrust in hard watching his cock disappear into….  
Godfuckingdammit this was exactly what he was talking about.  
So he made up his mind. He was going to be tough, he was going to rise above his idiotic crush on Feliciano and ask him to leave even though the thought of it made his heart clench. He’d have to be cruel and merciless and get it over with as soon as possible so he could go and cry into his latest batch of wurst (that he absolutely did not spend months perfecting after Feli told him they tasted like shit) Just like ripping of a band aid. He could do this. He was tough and could bench press 200 and managed not to push Feliciano against the wall and just fuck him when he had to teach him how to shoot even though he could still feel the press of his hot back against his chest, the curve of his ass against his straining dick, his intoxicating scent and how it made him just want to take….  
This had to stop

“Feliciano? Can I come in?” he asked, knocking on his door later that evening

“Sure!” answered Feli enthusiastically.

Ludwig had to stifle a groan as he walked in and caught sight of Feliciano in nothing but a tiny towel that hid nothing and only emphasized the rich tan of his skin against the crisp white cotton. Entranced, he watched as a water droplet languidly rolled its way down his neck, passing through the delicious bow of his collarbones and sliding torturously slowly down his chest, just past his nipple and how he wanted to lick and lave that nipple until it was red and peaked and then he’d kiss him hard and desperate until his lips were flushed and spit-slicked and kiss swollen and maybe then he would follow that lucky droplet’s path down that that taut abdomen and finally lick his way down to his bulging….

Ludwig was knocked abruptly out of his delicious fantasies by the sound of Feliciano clearing his throat.

“I thought maybe after training tomorrow we could go for a picnic on the beach? It’s just that you’ve been very stressed lately and I could make you pasta and we could play chess and maybe Kiku can come along if he’s not too busy…”

“You have to leave” Ludwig interrupted

He’d never hated himself more as he saw Feliciano’s look of absolute hurt, at how his bottom lip begun to tremble and telltale tears filled his eyes  
“Please Ludwig, I’ll be better, I promise, I’ll exercise every day, I’ll stand up to Arthur, I’ll try invading Egypt again just please don’t send me away, I’m sorry for whatever I did just please…”

“I can’t let you stay here, you’re a burden, I always have to keep saving you, you’re a liability and Kiku and I would be better off without you” Ludwig said with as hard a voice as he could muster

The tears finally spilled from Feli’s eyes as he stepped closer to Ludwig, placing a hand on his chest beseechingly. Ludwig took a deep breath, steeling himself, he had to be tough, he could do this but god, Feli was close enough that he could see how the tears had clumped his eyelashes and smell the heady scent of his body wash and it was so mouthwateringly good it was all he could do not to whimper 

“Don’t send me away, please” Feli begged, “please, you’re my only friend Doitsu, I’ll change, I promise, I’ll work harder, I’ll never eat pasta again, I’ll do whatever you say, I’ll be better just please..”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re perfect!” Ludwig exploded, the truth finally whooshing out of him “I’m the problem, I’m in love with you and your stupid perfect hair and your stupid perfect pasta obsession and I think about kissing you all the time and you make it so hard to concentrate and ugh, I want to lick you in inappropriate places and make you happy and would you just please, for the love of god, put some freaking clothes on?!!”

“What” Feli finally managed to say after a few seconds of stunned silence

“What do you mean what?” Ludwig shouted “I just told you I’m in love with you and that’s your fucking reaction oh Gott im Himmel I just told you I love you, this is not how this conversation was meant to go…”

Germany’s voice trailed off in embarrassed silence as he stared, mortified, at the ground, desperately wishing for the earth to just swallow him and put an end to his misery

“You’re in love with me?” Feli asked gleefully

“Yeah…I guess” he said, directing his words to the floor.

Why did he have to go and mess things up, this is why his mother told him he would do well as a butcher, he should just stay away from people and buy a cabin in the Alps and live there with his stupid humiliating crush and maybe a cat and maybe a mountain goat…

“Good thing I love you too then” Feli said

Wait…what…

“Wait…what??” his mouth repeated

Feli was grinning at him; his stupid (perfect) eyes alight with mischief

“I said, it’s a good thing I’m in love with you too. Also you’re going to describe to me in great detail which inappropriate place on my body you’d like to lick and then we’re going to have filthy mindblowingly amazing sex.

“What?” was apparently all his entire stunned mind could think of

And then he couldn’t even remember that as Feli yanked his head down into the hottest wettest kiss he’d ever participated in  
“Nghh” he said articulately

“Better save your words for later” Feli quipped, trailing a line of open mouthed kisses down his neck that made him weak at the knees

“Okay” he managed to gasp out as he nibbled and sucked on the skin below his ear.

“I’m going downstairs to get the pasta sauce” he said, unbuckling Ludwig’s belt, a feat made a thousand times more difficult with how he couldn’t stop bucking his hips onto his towel covered crotch, moaning wantonly all the while “you’re going to stay here and get naked and then I’m going to blow you like I’ve been dreaming of the last two years”

(In his defense, Ludwig couldn’t be blamed for coming in his pants five minutes later as Feliciano detailed just where and how he was planning on using that pasta sauce)

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know I'm on [tumblr](http://thetrueliesofafangirl.tumblr.com)?


End file.
